In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
That's the secret to life . . . replace one worry with another.
This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.
There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters . . . I could be their leader.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up."
I've developed a new philosophy . . . I only dread one day at a time.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.